February 2, 2010

Family



Since I have started this Ancestry search I have been thinking a lot on family and well family values or something like it. And since I have the time, it is on my mind a lot recently! :)
I am lucky to have my family, sure there are things I would like to change....but nothing I can do myself. It is up to those involved to think of the bigger picture instead of the small petty ones. I surely can hope they will, before it is too late!
I was raised in a working class family, a mom and a dad and 5 siblings! How my childhood was you ask? Well over all it was pretty good!! It was lively to say the least, imagine 5 siblings with different personalities under one roof! (can say that there were some wining, scratches and hair pulling!!)
I think I have the greatest Mom ever. She had her first child at the age of 18 and put her life to the side to raise 5 more kids. She devoted her time to us, and what I rememeber she put little time aside to herself. I can only imagine what sacrifice it would be, I myself need "me"time once and again to recharge. (mental instituion next...:))

Her life then changed when after 25 years of marriage she got a divorce. I can only imagine on how it must have felt, being a stay at home Mom for so long and then head out to support her kids. Luckily she only had 4 living at home...but still!
I don't remember much about the time, but I do remember a lot of bull shit from people around. What made it harder on me was seeing my mom being hurt by the words. The divorce didn't really affect me in the way it did to my sister and some of my brothers. I am not ashamed to say I was relieved in a way, didn't have a close relationship with my father then (nor now) as some of my siblings. I also saw my mother being un happy, how badly she tried to hide it!

But she pulled through, got a job and is today still living in the same house. I am proud of my mom, for doing what she did. That was the first action (what I know of) she made for herself, getting the divorce. The years after....well she got more bullshit from some family members regarding my Dad, for what reason I don't know! I mean what did she do?? In my eyes, they were un-called for...it hurt her spirits...not that she would show me. But I could see!!

A child can always tell!

It is just a shame that some can't see the hurt, or how they can put their blindfolds on and just ignore it!
That hurts me more, the not doing anything!!! Or when she put herself first (which to this day is not often) is something wrong....like she shouldn't have a right to live her life without asking for permission! Absurd!
I can't say now that my family is great, it just is what it is! Sad to say but it is the truth. I don't loose any sleep over it...

I am grateful for my Mom, she has taught me some very good values. Her parents I am grateful for too, not everyone has their grandparents in their life as I have. They are getting old, which in a way amazes me. Weird I know! :) But I guess you always see your grandparents with the same eyes as you do when you were a kid. Then one day, you see that they are frail and getting older. You see them for what they are. I guess you yourself are older and a wee bit wiser...

I don't know how much longer they are with us, a month, a year or even 10 years....but I will make every day count! I wouldn't want to know that they might pass away without letting them know that they matter. I can't imagine when they pass on and being left with guilt on knowing I didn't make everyday count!

Take care of your family, even though there are things you don't agree on...those things are small in comparison.